What is a Homosexual?

Sullivan actually put a clear thesis at the end of his story. I understood what he was trying to explain throughout his piece, but it never quite jumped out at me what the purpose was. I grasped the story was about his personal challenges growing up as a Homosexual male in a crowd he never completely fit into. He tied the essay together with a thought provoking thesis that has the power to make one think about the world around them and the people that are surrounding that person.
The story also made me think that sometimes what you see is not what you get. Is anyone really an open book or are we all trying to hide something from others? Maybe we are even hiding things from ourselves that, we ourselves, are offended by. I would argue that Sullivan is not just saying that Homosexual youth have an extremely hard time in their adolescent years, but rather that he is singling out that particular group for a few reasons. The first being very obvious; He is a Gay man and had to put up those facades to survive those tumultuous years. The second reason being there is more ridicule and torment used against young men that are openly gay in our schools than those that put up their walls and act like nothing is happening.
I started thinking back to when I was in high school. I found out years later that a friend of mine was "in the closet" so to speak. He went through these phases of trying to fit in. He played football, did the weight lifting classes, and also took girls to the school dances and bragged about how much tail he chased. What we had all found out about him was that he was taking girls out and all that, but was not trying to do the same things the rest of us guys were trying to do with the girls. They were going to the movies or gossiping or doing girl things. The girls I knew that were "seeing" him all kept his secret far from the rest of us in the group. I don't know if it really would have bothered me then, but now the only thing that unnerves me is that he couldn't be himself around his friends. He is still keeping his act up for his family. He was married to his best girl friend and they have an open relation to fool his mother. It really in a sad story.

Consider the Lobster

David Foster Wallace was an amazing writer. That's about all I can say for him. he can clearly make you think about points that no one really thinks about and he gets his message across, sometimes with a bit more information than is needed. After reading the assigned editorial, "Consider the Lobster", I researched more of Wallace's writings to see for myself if these type of editorials are commonplace for this talented writer.

In doing a bit of research, I found an excerpt from his first book, Girl With Curious Hair, "Everything is Green". In this short story he tells of an older man with a younger woman. The younger woman is full of hope and optimism that the older man just doesn't have any more. The story suggests that the older man wants to let the younger woman go and live her life and he doesn't want to be selfish by keeping her and holding her back any longer. The story was published by Harpers Magazine and can be found here.

So what caused this writer to become depressed and ultimately take his own life? He had a great career and was a well respected person in his field. If one reads Wallace's first published work and Consider the Lobster, there is a notable difference in the tone of the writer. In the short story I mentioned above there isn't confusion. The older character knows that he is holding the younger woman back and is ready to let her go to be who she and wants to be; even if she does not think it is the best idea for her. The older man uses his wisdom that can only come from age over his feelings. Although Consider the Lobster is a factual review and not a work of fiction, one can tell the difference in Wallace's writing style and tone. The editorial for Gourmet Magazine was confused and completely off topic. Wallace started at the class differences in this area of Maine and ended his piece in an existential rut. Just from reading two stories from the author that are published 15 years apart I can see the confusion in Wallace's life. Maybe he thought of himself as the Lobster that was almost in that boiling pot of water. Was there some unknown force that was closing the lid on him?

Unfortunately, we will never know. With suicide comes many more questions than answers. I was going to write this journal entry mush differently today, but after doing a little homework on the man I am sorry that he won't be able to confuse us any longer.

Buzzell v. Didion

Both readings were great. Both were very informative and gave a picture of what it was like to be sitting next to the authors as they, themselves experienced what they wrote. Where the authors differ, however is that one is explaining if he really sees what he is writing or is it a complete work of fiction? I thought Buzzell's entries were much more life like and most definitely had a concrete feel to it. The reader knew the story was not made up, and one could almost feel like he is almost sitting next to the ant infested hill as Colby lays down on top of it.

The Didion reading was well written and gave me amazing images as I read the five or so pages. What ruined the read for me was how the author jumped from topic to topic with Little connection. It honestly started to confuse me, albeit not hard to do, but made it more difficult for me to follow his point. After I reread the essay I thought about the meaning of this short story. To me, the meaning is that most things you have to learn on your own. Through the good times and the bad, through happiness and sadness, and sometime through just sheer stupidity. No one can teach you life lessons, except life itself.

The means of conveying one's feelings may have changed, but the purpose has not. Even though these two authors were born and lived at least 40 years apart, both needed an outlet for the things they witnessed and felt. A blog is just a journal or diary with more equipment.